There’s this quote that’s been going around the web, popping up on motivational blog posts and Pinterest boards, and getting quite a few virtual “mm-hmm”’s. It goes a little something like this: “do something today that your future self would be proud of.”
Before you groan and click out because you’ve read this a million times before, give me a second. I thought about how this quote applies to the Love Your Body Resolution, and I came away with a new perspective on staying motivated to make healthy choices. Not motivated when it comes to the big things–motivated when it comes to the hundreds of small choices that we make every day. Choices that we barely even register as choices: they’re back-and-forths like whether to have that mid-afternoon coffee, if it’s okay to skip today’s workout and whether or not to open a cold beer after a long day at work. The idea of making myself proud stuck in my mind, raising a few questions about what feels like a never-ending struggle to develop healthier routines.
I’ve lived my life wanting to make people proud, first (and most of the time) my family, but on a more indirect level, my friends, partner and students. Making them proud usually isn’t a conscious goal; it’s an unspoken way of acting that has gently nudged its way into my every action. The values I live by reflect a combination of my loved ones’ ideals and beliefs, filtered by my own dreams and moral sensibilities, and those values are always the driving force behind my actions.
Pride isn’t a word that evokes images of serving others. It’s generally a word than implies a focus inward above all else, an example of an unruly ego and a sign that you place too much value on yourself above others. But when we phrase it as making someone proud, it becomes a good thing. The phrase indicates effort, maybe even striving, to do something that is universally acknowledged as good: to make someone proud. So why not ourselves?
When I’m faced with one of those small decisions–water or soda, Netflix or a walk–I’ve learned to ask myself one question, and the answer is usually crystal clear.
“Am I making myself proud?”
It sounds like a big question to use when talking about small decisions, but all of those small decisions add up…and I’ve found that one not-so-good decision usually leads to another. Eventually they become a landslide and I’m knee-deep in the mud of nights of poor sleep, days of low energy and weeks of feeling like crud.
Now, making yourself proud doesn’t mean always choosing salad over fries, literally or metaphorically. I won’t regret for a second that special dinner out where I ate fried chicken slathered in honey butter or the hours of sleep lost comforting a friend. Meaningful indulgences definitely make me proud, because I’d rather carpe diem than adhere unquestioningly to strict guidelines. I’ve just got to beware of that pesky landslide (the one that seems to threaten every week or so).
With almost 25 years in this body, I’ve realized that making myself proud is the greatest way to feel good about myself. I’ve had months when I was at my highest weight, but running regularly and eating all kinds of vegetables, and I felt great. I looked heavier than I do now, but that wasn’t a deciding factor in my confidence. I could look in the mirror and know that I was facing those small choices with clarity, making the best decision for myself and moving on.
I’ve also had weeks when I was 25 pounds lighter, but I was purposefully making harmful choices to feed an obsession with the scale. I wasn’t proud of skipping meals or getting the jitters from coffee–those weren’t the actions of someone who deeply cared about herself.
Though I’m in a much, much happier place now than in that second scenario, I’m honestly struggling with the small choices right now. While it’s easy to make a grand workout plan (ahem, training schedule for an 11-mile race) or lay out a week’s worth of meals before grocery shopping, it’s hard to follow through every day as the small stuff adds up. It’s easy to rationalize “just one ____” or a night on the couch after a long day. So as I work my way back to healthy routines, I just have to keep asking myself that one question.
Step by step, bite by bite, choice by choice, I’m answering yes.
The Love Your Body Resolution is a biweekly series dedicated to loving + respecting your body. For more LYB Resolution posts, visit the archive.
The Psychology Behind Self-Pride
Why does this one question hold so much power? It works because it shifts our focus from external expectations to internal values. When we ask ourselves if we’re making ourselves proud, we’re not thinking about what others might think—we’re checking in with our own standards. Those standards are shaped by our deepest beliefs about what a good life looks like.
Most of us are already experts at making others proud. We’ve been trained to consider our parents’ opinions, our partners’ needs, our bosses’ expectations. But turning that same attention inward is a radical act of self-respect. It’s not about ego; it’s about honoring the person we want to become.
Research on self-determination theory shows that intrinsic motivation—doing something because it aligns with your values—leads to more lasting change than extrinsic motivation like rewards or praise. Asking “Am I making myself proud?” taps directly into that intrinsic drive. It’s a question only you can answer, and that makes it personal and powerful.
How to Use the Question Every Day
Like any tool, this question works best when you practice using it. Start by catching yourself in those tiny decision moments. They happen dozens of times a day: when you reach for a snack, when you consider hitting snooze, when you choose between stairs and elevator.
- Before eating: “Will this food make me proud in an hour?”
- Before a workout: “Will I be proud if I skip this today?”
- Before staying up late: “Will I be proud of how I feel tomorrow?”
- Before reacting in frustration: “Will I be proud of how I handled this?”
If the answer is no, don’t immediately jump to the “perfect” choice. That can feel restrictive. Instead, ask a follow-up: “What small step could I take that would make me proud?” Maybe it’s having one glass of water before soda, or doing ten minutes of stretching instead of a full workout. Pride isn’t about extremes; it’s about progress.
Over time, this questioning becomes second nature. You won’t have to consciously think about it because you’ll have built a habit of aligning your actions with your values.
When Pride Meets Perfectionism
There’s a risk with any self-improvement strategy: it can slide into perfectionism. You might start hearing the question as “Am I being perfect?” instead of “Am I making myself proud?” That’s a dangerous shift, because perfection is unattainable and leads to guilt and shame.
I’ve fallen into this trap. I’d ask myself if I was proud and then berate myself for not doing enough. But making yourself proud doesn’t mean doing everything right. It means making choices that reflect your values. Sometimes that means resting, indulging, or being imperfect. The key is intentionality—choosing on purpose rather than out of habit or avoidance.
To keep this question healthy, pair it with self-compassion. If you answer no, don’t spiral. Acknowledge that you’re human, learn from the moment, and ask the question again at the next opportunity. Over time, you’ll find the balance between holding yourself to high standards and being kind to yourself.
The Love Your Body Connection
This question sits at the heart of the Love Your Body Resolution. Loving your body isn’t just about how you feel in your skin; it’s about the daily actions that show respect and care. Every time you ask “Am I making myself proud?” you’re making a statement that you deserve to be treated well.
In the Fitness section, we’ve explored different angles of this. In 8 Hours, Or Else! we talked about the power of sleep; in A Different Type of Cleanse we looked at clearing mental clutter. Each of these is a piece of the same puzzle: building a life where your daily choices reflect your love for your body.
So the next time you face a small decision, pause and ask yourself that one question. Your future self is watching, and she’s hoping you’ll make her proud.